Not used to the new order

I think my body is rebelling against the hours of my new job. I get up every weekday morning at 4:15 a.m. now, and I never quite get enough sleep every night. Lately I've gotten home and felt a bit sick with a few symptoms around my stomach. I think I've either contracted a strange flu bug unlike any other I've had before, or my body isn't quite used to my schedule. This afternoon I feel better than I did the previous three afternoons, so I'm hoping that's a sign I'm getting used to the new order of things.

On the upside, I've been contracted to write a short article (due late July) for alive magazine's December issue. I'm still brainstorming ideas.

The Squirrel Incident

And now, let me tell you about the Squirrel Incident.

Yesterday, while I was preparing a dinner of tacos for two, and Lauren was having a nap in my room, I dimly heard her yell my name. I ran to the closed bedroom door and opened it to find Lauren standing on my bed and pointing to the window.

"There's a squirrel in your room!" she shouted. Sure enough, a black-furred Grey Squirrel was sitting on a pile of camping gear on the floor. It was probably a juvenile.

I ushered Lauren out of the room and closed the door. I've had a lot of experience with squirrels, after having volunteered for three years at the Wildlife Rescue Association. All I had to do was herd the squirrel back out the open window. This was easier said than done.

I used a stick to scare the squirrel away from each hiding place it squirrelled itself away in. Nothing was working the way I'd planned, as the squirrel was simply too scared to think about how to get out. It went behind my filing cabinet, under the bed, into a bookshelf, and then...

Well, then I lost it.

It was really strange. I couldn't figure out where it could possibly be. I looked everywhere around my room, but no luck. I knew it was still in the room, since I'd last seen it running away from the window and not toward it, but its location in particular was a mystery. I decided to leave it alone.

Meanwhile, Lauren was looking online for advice on how to deal with a squirrel. One page said to just leave the house for a couple of hours, and that it would leave its hiding place and escape back into the wild once it was sure that no one was home. That was the new plan.

We ate our dinner and prepared to go see a movie. I needed to change, though, and I went back into my room for some clothes. When I went to pick up my belt by the bookshelf, though, I heard a barely audible but distinct sound. I rustled a box where my belt had been, and I heard the sound again. Amazingly enough, the squirrel was beneath the bookshelf with only an inch-wide opening, and it was hissing at me when I got too close. I couldn't believe it had squeezed itself in, but it was definitely there. Later on, I realized that the opening at the back of the shelf was larger. Then, though, I just wanted to get the squirrel out right away.

Lauren told me to just drop it and let it find a way out on its own, but instead I poked my stick under the shelf and managed to get it out from under there. Then I simply backed away to the side of the room opposite from the window. Before, I had been too close for the squirrel to do anything but panic. Now, I gave it the space it needed to figure its way out.

Soon enough, it crawled up a blanket I'd set on a table and found its way onto the window-sill. The window was now wide open, but for some reason it didn't immediately leap out the window, but crawled along the ledge inside and behind the curtain for a moment before turning back and finally leaping onto a nearby branch. I suppose it wanted to find an easier way out. Probably, though, it was too scared to think. It was literally pissing itself, as there were a few drops of water where it had been on the window-sill. Squirrels are very clean, disease-free animals, so I wasn't worried about that. A bit of disinfectant spray and some paper towel easily cleared that up.

I've always liked squirrels, just not inside my home. This one was probably a juvenile, explaining its curiosity (juvenile squirrels are notoriously curious). As I previously noted, I've handled squirrels before, while volunteering for the Wildlife Rescue Association and elsewhere. I've fed them and even suckled a few orphaned baby squirrels with a baby bottle of milk formula.

They're wonderful creatures, and they belong in the wild. And that's the key. Too often I've seen people try to take wild animals and make them their pets, as if animals are merely here to entertain us. Rather, we should enjoy seeing them from a distance in their natural habitat, where they belong. Just as humans do, they too need their space.

Surprise party

Last night, Lauren threw a surprise party for me, celebrating the fact that I got my first ongoing job in journalism. It was truly amazing. Using my facebook account, she contacted a bunch of our friends (as well as an old friend I hadn't seen in almost a year) to plan this surprise dinner party. Her cover story was that she was making dinner for me, and that we'd then go out to see a movie, but I suspected something was up. I wasn't sure what that something was, but I could tell she was planning some kind of surprise. Still, my own surprise was genuine when we arrived at her place and saw everyone there.

It was great to be the centre of attention for the evening. A few of my friends told funny stories about me, and later on I shared stories about a couple of them. It was such a wonderful, thoughtful thing for my girlfriend to do. (Thank you, baby.)

Unfortunately, my camera earlier ran out of batteries, and I didn't have my camera-phone with me either, so I don't have any pictures from the evening. But I'll always have the memories.

UPDATE: Oh, and I must mention also that Lauren spent at least three days preparing for the actual dinner party. She went all-out by buying a specially made arrangement of flowers, making dinner and buying dessert for a dozen people, decorating the table-setting with tea candles and those little smooth glass stones, giving everyone a take-home napkin-bag of chocolate-covered almonds, and having everyone bring a bottle of wine so that there was ample choice for everyone. It was even more incredible by the fact that this was the first dinner party that she's ever thrown. Judging from how much everyone enjoyed themselves last night, I'm sure it won't be the last.

Sickness is thriving in this crazy weather

It seems there are a lot of sick people out there in Vancouver right now, including me. Every morning on the SkyTrain I've noticed people coughing and looking much less healthy than they should at this time of year.

As for myself, I've been feeling really gassy and generally very lethargic, and I have slight indigestion. Lauren is feeling the same way, but she usually gets what I have, and vice versa. We think it's a flu bug or something going around. Whatever it is, the kinds of illnesses that would usually be somewhat dormant at this, the end of spring and beginning of summer, are doing rather well for themselves. It's the rest of us who have to pay for it.

Go away, lousy weather. I need my summer, already. Last year I didn't get one, so this year had better be fantastic.

Legalese

Much of my time spent copy editing is weeding through the legalese. A large number of the news releases that funnel through and eventually appear in some altered form in Stockwatch are riddled with ambiguous terms and virtually unreadable legal-type language. As a copy editor it is my job to turn this headache-inducing text into prose that is informative and helpful, if not always exactly a pleasure to read.

What do I mean by legalese? I'll give you an example. Immediately below is a sample of unedited text from a news release. Admittedly, its main fault is wordiness, so it's not the best example of legalese.

In accordance with the provisions of letters of transmittal previously provided to shareholders of the Company, share certificates for Post-Reorganization shares of G____ are now issuable to shareholders against exchange of their certificates representing Pre-Reorganization shares of G____ with C________ at its principal transfer agency in Toronto. The exchange ratios for each of the classes and series of shares of G____ which were reclassified pursuant to the Reorganization are set forth in the Company's Management Information Circular dated January 21, 2008 (the "Circular").

Guh? I know. I had to edit the above text, which is virtually unreadable, to the text below, which is moderately more readable. I'm still not entirely satisfied with it.

In accordance with provisions in letters of transmittal already provided to company shareholders, certificates for post-reorganization G____ shares are now issuable to shareholders against exchange of their pre-reorganization share certificates with C________ in Toronto. The exchange ratios for each of the classes and series of shares of G____ which were reclassified according to the reorganization are set forth in the company's management information circular dated January 21, 2008.

And even now I realize that I forgot to abbreviate "January" to "Jan." according to the Globe and Mail style. Oh well.

Anyway, I deal with this kind of text all day. You might say that, as a copy editor, I'm on the front line of a war against user-unfriendly language. Every word I strike down is a bullet that doesn't make it through to strike some poor innocent reader.

...

OK, now I'm stretching things a bit. And that's my cue to exit.

Napping a no-no

I've struggled with chronic insomnia for most of my life. It only really bothers me now when I'm going through struggles and times of emotional stress, or when I'm feeling particularly creative and can't stop my writing or designing to sleep. Of course, there are some exceptions, such as excessive napping, which can lead to insomnia.

Afternoon napping isn't a bad idea, as long as you don't nap for too long. A good half-hour nap can do wonders for you by taking the edge off. Unfortunately, after getting home this afternoon I took a nap that lasted over an hour and left me feeling groggy for the rest of the day. Now, when I should be getting ready to sleep (in order to awake at 4:30 a.m.), I'm restless and don't feel like sleeping at all.

It's a good thing I have some strategies for just such an occasion. I find reading a somewhat dull book can put me to sleep. Listening to talk radio at a low volume can also help. I will be trying these and other strategies tonight. Hopefully I will get some sleep.

New job

Yesterday was my first day as a copy editor at Stockwatch. I've always wanted to learn all I could about the stock market, and now I'm getting paid to do so. They'll be training me for the next few months, with the aim of making me a business journalist.

The hours are a bit unusual. Since the stock market opens on the east coast at 9 am, three hours ahead of us, I start work at 6 am. It's a 45-minute commute for me, meaning I'll have to get up at 4:30 am each morning I work that shift. Since Stockwatch is a 24-hour operation, I will also occasionally work the night shift, from 10 pm to 6 am, for a month at a time. After being used to students' hours, this is quite a change for me. But it's not a big deal. I just have to shift my hours earlier. No more late nights for Kai.

Meanwhile, now that I don't have to spend my remaining hours constantly looking for work, I'm free to do a lot of things I've been putting off. Since I get off work mid-afternoon, I have the rest of the day to go out biking and work out, work on various writing projects, and take on some freelance work.

Last month I designed an ad for a client, and I'll be designing another ad for them soon. Thanks to my status as a student, last month I was also able to pick up Adobe Creative Suite 3 for a mere fraction of the price. I've been using the whole Creative Suite (Adobe InDesign, Acrobat, Illustrator, Photoshop, and Dreamweaver) almost constantly since then. I'm hoping to do some more freelance writing work as well.

Good luck to all of you looking for work. It's definitely out there.